You Know What to Do. So Why Can’t You Start?

The night after Ian Mai closed the biggest deal in his company’s history, he couldn’t sleep.

The deal was about 20 times the average deal size at the time. By every outside measure, it was a massive win.

But instead of celebrating, he felt more beat up and more broken than before. One question kept running through his head: how am I going to keep doing this?

He had built his entire career on pressure, stress, and anxiety. And he couldn’t keep pretending he had it all together.

I think a lot of sellers experience some version of this.

When it’s the end of the quarter and you’re behind your number, you lock in. Pressure is the only thing that gets you moving.

But on a normal day, it’s the opposite. You know exactly what to do. Call the prospect. Write the executive email. Build the proposal deck. And you sit there and can’t make yourself start.

I deal with this too. Most mornings, I’ll find something else to do before I start my workday. For example, right now there’s a lead generation project for our business that’s one of the most strategic things we should do for our business, yet I’ve been putting it off for a month.

Most sellers spend two to three hours a day on RGAs (Revenue Generating Activities). If they could get that to four to six hours, it’s game over. President’s Club this year and every year thereafter. 

But KNOWING what to do and DOING it are two completely different things. 

That’s why I wanted to host Ian Mai on our monthly Fireside Chat.

On paper, he had it all. Valedictorian. President’s Club winner. Professional bodybuilder. 

Behind the scenes, he was battling overwhelm, addiction, and shame. After hitting rock bottom, he cleared $60,000 in debt, lost 60 pounds, and saved his marriage.

With a background in electrical engineering and 12 years in technical sales, Ian now helps executives, founders, and sellers understand why they struggle to do the things they know they should be doing. His approach combines neuroscience, behavioral psychology, and faith.

What I loved is that he didn’t just explain the problem. He gave us practices we could use right there on the call.

What’s actually happening in your brain

Ian explained that getting started takes two things: pressing the accelerator and letting go of the brakes.

The brakes come from the amygdala, your fight, flight, freeze response. It fires in under 300 milliseconds, faster than you can even notice it. That’s the numb apathy you feel staring at your laptop screen. 

Why constant dopamine makes deep work harder

Quick hits of dopamine from your phone, sugar, and scrolling lower your brain’s sensitivity to it. Then the parts of your brain you need to focus and follow through don’t get what they need.

Because your brain is constantly in search of immediate gratification, focusing and doing work that requires thinking feels much harder than it should. 

Instead of understanding the reasons behind why we struggle to get started, I asked Ian to share and demonstrate simple techniques we can all start using immediately. 

Practice #1: Get ready to take action

Ian led us through a 2 minute breathing practice that we can all use when we feel anxious about starting work and procrastinate on what we need to do. We did the practice as a group, and felt clear, calm, and ready to get started! 

He also shared the two phrases he repeats up to 100 times a day, and why they work better than positive affirmations. 

A 5 o’clock ritual to be present at home

This is the one I needed most. When work gets busy, I struggle to turn it off, even though I know my family comes first and my wife and boys deserve my presence.

Ian has a simple shutdown ritual that starts at 5 o’clock every day. It’s how he switches out of work mode and shows up fully for his family.

The role of faith

We went deep on the role of spirituality and faith during the last 30 minutes. 

Ian shared how scripture shaped the breathwork he uses in his hardest moments, and why seeking first the kingdom brings peace, presence, and clarity to his work and life. 

For me, when I seek God, everything else becomes less important. When I drift from that, the worries of the world become overwhelming.

What we covered on the Fireside Chat

• Why so many sellers only perform under pressure, and what it costs over time
• The brakes and the accelerator behind procrastination
• How to make dopamine work for you instead of against you
• The type of training and habits that increase your sensitivity to dopamine
• Why deep work needs a ritual
• The 2-minute breathing practice we did live
• Ian’s 5 o’clock shutdown ritual
• How Ian rehearses his biggest fears so they don’t derail him in real life
• How faith and scripture shaped his practices

If you know exactly what you need to do and still can’t make yourself do it, this episode is for you. Watch the full episode here: https://youtu.be/LhB7i8LC_gY