There’s a timeless truth in sales:

“The person who needs it the least is the one most likely to get it.”

It sounds counterintuitive. After all, sales is how we make a living, provide for our families, and keep our jobs. But here’s the paradox: the more you show up needy, the less likely you are to win.

When you sell from a place of desperation – what I call commission breath – your energy shifts away from the client and onto yourself. Buyers sense it. And instead of creating trust, it creates resistance.

This week’s video is about how to eliminate neediness and show up in service of your clients. In the video, I break down 5 practical ways to detach from the outcome so you can perform your best, serve at the highest level, and position yourself to win in sales and in life. 

Here’s a quick summary of the five strategies:

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1. Distinguish Needs vs. Wants

Many sellers confuse what they want with what they truly need. This creates unnecessary pressure. Do the math: calculate your net worth and your bare-bones monthly expenses. Often, you’ll realize you have far more runway than you think. That realization instantly reduces pressure and frees you from scarcity thinking.

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2. Shift From Self-Focused to Client-Focused

Neediness comes from being self-centered: I need this deal, I need this commission. Detachment comes when you flip the focus outward: How can I help this client succeed?

As Zig Ziglar said, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”

👉 Watch this video to go deeper on how I made this shift: From Inward to Outward Selling

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3. Attach to Effort, Not Outcomes

You can’t control whether a buyer signs today, tomorrow, or never. What you can control is your input: the quality of your preparation, the quality of conversations, the consistency of your actions, and your attitude. Judge yourself on your daily effort, consistency, and attitude. The outcomes will follow.

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4. Know Your Worth

Your worth isn’t tied to quota, revenue, or performance. It’s tied to your values and integrity. When you live in alignment with your values – discipline, consistency, honesty, service, family – you can feel good about yourself no matter what the scoreboard says.

👉 To learn how to separate your worth from your performance, watch my keynote: You Are Not Your Number

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5. Trust God (or the Universe)

At some point, you have to surrender the illusion of control. Everything happens for a reason and is part of a bigger plan for your life, even though you may not see it at the time. Do your best and let go of the rest. God provides.

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📹 In this week’s video, I unpack each of these five strategies in detail and share how I’ve applied them personally and with the top sellers I coach. 

When we detach, we feel lighter, focus more on others, and get into a flow state. And that’s when the real magic happens. 

https://youtu.be/iO71-liU42Q

-Ian