I recently did something that I’m not proud of. 

I yelled at my wife and son after a long, exhausting day at work. 

My patience was low, and I found myself easily agitated when my son wasn’t listening to me.

Sandy has strong boundaries and high standards for what’s acceptable in our home, and I was forced to sleep in another room. 

What hurt most is that I was powerless over my temper at the moment I yelled. 

Despite doing so much work on myself over the past 8 years, I still had more work to do.

I surrendered to God, prayed for help, and God delivered (as always). 

The following weekend, I attended a four-day men’s retreat to help identify the source of my temper, process unhealed trauma, and gain clarity on the man I want to be with my family. 

During the weekend I mourned and grieved the loss of my own father, who died 25 years ago and also had issues with his temper. 

I released unprocessed anger, and beneath all my anger was pure love from my inner child who never got to say goodbye to his father. 

I cried deeply as my 8 year old self, sitting next to him on a long road trip.

The work was powerful and transformational, and I felt truly healed when I left. 

One of the profound realizations I had was that I had been serving my family the “leftovers.” 

After most workdays, I was exhausted and mentally drained, and wasn’t showing up as my best self for them. My energy and patience were low, and I was less present than they deserved.

At the event I wrote my family a poem, in which I shared my commitments on how I planned to show up for them moving forward. 

I committed to making major changes in three areas at work, so I can show my best at home. 

1. More time: 

Instead of stopping work at 6pm, I’ve stopped working at 5pm to spend 1:1 time with my son Max, who is on the autism spectrum and needs his father. 

This has already paid massive dividends, and my son says it’s been the highlight of his day. Working less has also forced me to prioritize and delegate more during the workday. 

2. More energy: 

I am creating more space in my day, taking breaks often and avoiding filling my day with back to back 1:1 coaching calls which can leave me mentally exhausted

3. More presence: 

I am meditating daily and putting my phone away at night so I can be fully present. 

It’s only been a few weeks since I’ve been back from the immersion, but my family has already noticed the difference. I took a four day impromptu vacation to San Diego over Presidents Day, where we rented a beautiful Airbnb, visited the zoo, and watched the Genesis Open at Torrey Pines. The old me would have worked on Presidents Day, but I know that quality time with family is more important than anything else, and we created some incredible memories! 

I’m excited at the new challenge of working less while achieving even greater results in my business by focusing only on the critical activities that matter most (Pareto Principle in action). I believe this is not only possible but inevitable, because my heart is in the right place! 

In this week’s training video, I share how to create more time, space, and presence in your work day so that you can show up your best at home and don’t serve your family the “leftovers.” 

I also share the poem that I wrote to my family.